Where's The Line?

I'm finding it incredibly hard to find the line between a calling and a selfish desire. I've struggled with this for a long time. And, it's a shame that I feel ashamed to tell the guys, cuz i wish they'd understand, but I 'm not sure they will. It's not that I want to abandon them, I just feel called to do something else, and it just happens that I also want to do what I feel called to. I never thought it would be so hard to be honest...and honestly I'm sick of doing something I don't like. and quite frankly, I'm sick of the attitude. I should be able to do and express myself in ways I want. I just wish they wouldn't take it so personally.

"It’s easy to hear this voice
It’s easy to turn it off
It's easy to make this choice
It's easy to turn yourself off "

-Showbread